Guest post: It's about the spinach, stupid. And the carts. And pretty much everything else

(Or what credit unions can learn from the mind of a disgruntled big box shopper.)

Dear SuperDuperBigMart [and credit union professionals],

When your new store [read: branch] opened near my house a few months back, I deliberately stayed away for a while. About three days to be exact. Finally the lure of cheap toilet paper [read: free chequing] became irresistible.

But the line. Oh sweet-mother-of-smiley-faces, the line. It. Could. Not. Have. Moved. Slower.

And the bag of spinach I picked up was already expired. Kind of weird since you just opened. [read: What? You’re out of envelopes at the ATM?]

Then there were the carts [read: brochures and other marketing paraphrenalia] scattered everywhere. Carts crying out for some sort of cart corral, if not a full-fledged cart jockey or two.

Today, I went back. Again, the parking lot was a mess. No one greeted me when I walked in the door [read: I thought it was about relationships?]. You didn’t have what I wanted [read: practical financial advice] and the items you did have, didn’t have any price on them [read: weren’t priced right].

When it was time to check out, you only had one cashier open [read: wicket]. No problem, I thought. I’ll use the self-checkout [read: profit-maximizing, expense-minimizing ATM]. But the technology worked against me. Finally, it stopped working altogether.

"Please wait for employee assistance!" it kept announcing in its loud, electronic voice. So I waited. And waited. And waited some more. But no one came to help. They walked right by. I just stood there helpless with my juice boxes and my garbage bags [read: U.S. cheques and other transactions].

Finally, I left my cheap toilet paper [read: free chequing account] in the cart and high tailed it out of there—‘cause seriously, I don’t have time to be ignored, no matter how low your prices are [read: don’t you want my money?!].

But then I thought maybe I should tell someone about my terrible, no-good, very bad day(s), so I logged onto your website. I used all 150 allowed words to tell you my story and then you sent me this—or rather, your computer did:

PLEASE DO NOT RESPOND TO THIS E-MAIL
Please be advised that your email has been sent to the Customer Relations Department. You will receive a response in the shortest possible time. We thank you for visiting www.SuperDuperBigMart.com. We look forward to serving you on your next visit. Thank you.

Pardon me? The shortest possible time? By whose assessment? Not mine, obviously, or you would have responded by now. How about an actual service promise?

Making matters worse, I also read this on your website:

SuperDuperBigMart is committed to giving Canadians the best shopping experience in the marketplace by delivering everyday low prices, exceptional customer service, top-quality merchandise, and extensive community involvement, philanthropy and corporate social responsibility. SuperDuperBigMart has repeatedly listed among the 50 Best Companies to Work for in Canada, as published in Report on Business Magazine.

You know. I’ve always wondered what makes people go postal [read: bank?]. And now I know. Thank you, SuperDuperBigMart, for reminding me there’s more to being super than just having 'SuperDuper' in your name.

Oh, and if you’re thinking of calling me today, please note I’ll be out re-buying all the things I tried to buy at your store yesterday, this time with my three-year-old in tow. [read: Where is Mount Lehman Credit Union anyway?]

Signed,

Some crazy lady in Surrey

Colleen

About our guest blogger: Colleen Pepper is a freelance writer and editor specializing in the credit union industry since 2001. Colleen writes radio spots, campaign collateral and more serious things like annual reports, brochures and newsletters. This week a client asked her to write a letter telling members their account manager died, demonstrating that she can do funny and funerals—although whether a letter is the right choice for the latter is a blog in itself. Colleen has a B.A. in Communications and History from Trinity Western University. In her spare time, she is a mom and aspiring mystery shopper. She’s recently discovered how much she hates SuperDuperBigMart—or at least the sparkly, brand new one by her house.

The future is friendly, the problem is today: part 2

On April 7, 2007 I posted a rant against a monolithic Canadian telecommunications company that had provided a pretty horrific customer service experience to our company.

Finally, some closure!

After nine months of getting nowhere with technical and customer service nightmares including a $15,151.24 early termination charge, I can finally say this battle is over. But, I must say, it was a shocking and disconcerting finish. 

After receiving this bill, I immediately phoned to find out what the heck it was for. After considerable discussion, the customer service representative discovered that the bill was double what it should be and reduced it to about $7,600. I was still not satisfied and asked to see the original contract that I signed.

It took more than two months for them to fax a copy to me. What was faxed was a contract that ended on December 31, 2005. They claimed that it automatically rolled over and would terminate with written notice on December 31, 2008. I asked repeatedly to point out where it stated that the contract would automatically roll-over. The customer service representative said, "sorry sir I don't write the contracts, I'll have to get back to you."

She phoned back in half an hour and quickly said, "we are reversing the charges and crediting your account."

In shock and amazement I pressed her a little to try to understand how this could happen. This was the gist of her response, "we have a new policy in place where all enterprise customers get charged until they can prove otherwise."

In today's age, how is this even possible? I felt so appauled that a major corporation could be allowed to behave this way. I am also dumbfounded how 26,000 employees can buy into this culture of deception—there must be one heck of a profit-sharing program in place. I sure hope that no credit union ever adopts policies like this!

Tim

The future is friendly. The problem is today!

Credit unions are known for superior service. Let's not lose this enviable reputation as credit unions grow larger. Here's a personal customer-service story to keep everyone in check!

Background

We are a small business with 10 employees. That means that some people here wear more than one hat—including me. One of those hats is systems administrator. My story starts almost a decade ago.

Once upon a time, we hosted the websites we created internally and had a T1 connection to the Internet. At over $2,000 per month our Internet connectivity was mighty expensive. Mid-contact we decided hosting wasn't for us and sought an outside hosting partner.

Now that we didn't need the T1, we were able to negotiate a downgrade in service from a telecommunications company which will remain unnamed. They let us have a managed ADSL connection for $480 per month if we agreed to a three-year contract.

Combining spotty service and our absolute need to be connected at all times, we also added a cable connection to the Internet and some hardware that would allow us to switch between the two services with a little reconfiguration if one were to go down.

With our three-year managed ADSL contract ending in September 2006 and the cable connection being so reliable, we decided to downgrade the ADSL line even further to a simple business connection for less than $100 per month and use it simply for back-up. This is were the story really starts.

The ongoing conversation

October 2006

ME: "Hello, I want to downgrade our Internet connection. We are currently on a month-to-month managed ADSL service."

THEM: "I need your account number."

ME:  "XXXXXXXXXX."

THEM: "Sorry, I don't have that number on file. What phone number do you have with us."

ME:  "I don't have our telephones with you."

We talk back and forth for five minutes. I give various numbers from my statements and notes.

THEM: "Oh here you are. Sure, do you have your long-distance plan with us."

ME:  "No, I just told you I don't, but I have five Blackberry data plans and two cell plans with you."

THEM: "Sorry, our mobility company is not part of this company. You will need to have at least one land line with us."

ME: "OK, you can have my fax line back. And whatever you do, DO NOT disconnect the managed ADSL line, until the new ADSL line is in."

THEM: "Yes sir, I will make sure that note is on the work order."

December 2006

Two months pass and two more bills at $400. I call the number I was given.

THEM: "The person you are trying to contact no longer works with our company."

So I go through the same conversation with a new representative.

February 2007

Two more months and nothing has happened. I call again.

THEM: "I need your account number."

ME: "XXXXXXXXXX."

THEM: "Sorry, I don't have that number on file."

ME: "Arrghh."

THEM: "Oh here you are. Yes, I see a requisition in the system and it appears that the fax has been moved, but for some reason, the Internet connection hasn't happened yet. I will get someone right on that.

ME: "Thank you."

April 2007 (two days ago)

VARIOUS CO-WORKERS: "I don't think our e-mail is working."

ME: "Oh oh, I think I know what happened. Let me call the telephone company."

THEM: "I need your account number."

ME: "XXXXXXXXXX."

THEM: "Sorry, I don't have that number on file."

ME: "I was dealing with Jenny Johnson (fake name)."

THEM: "The person you are trying to contact no longer works with our company. Let me check the system. Yes, we have your fax line with us, but I'm sorry sir, there is no record of needing a new Internet connection."

ME: "Nice. Can you please confirm that my managed service has in fact been turned off?"

THEM: "Let me put you on hold. Sorry sir, when I try to call that division of the company, the line is out of service. Let me call you back,"

ME: "Well I might as well order my basic ADSL service again now."

THEM: "Great, we can have a technician out in 4 days, but oh whoops, looks like the modems are back ordered."

ME: "Forget it. I"ll make other arrangements."

So I call information (a service coincidentally run by the same company) and get a new number.

ME: "Can you please confirm that my managed service has been turned off?"

THEM: "Sorry, I don't know how."

ME: "Could I speak to someone who does."

THEM: "Let me put you on hold. Sorry, there is nobody here that can help. Looks like that is a different company. That wasn't in my training and I don't have the number."

ME: "Goodbye."

Irene in the office here hands me a note with a new number to try. She got the number from her husband, who's company has also been having some issues. I call it."

ME: "Can you please confirm that my managed service has been turned off?"

THEM: "No, I am the service desk. I can start a ticket and have our engineers look into it for you and call you back."

ME: "Yes please."

They call back two hours later. "We have a closed work order in our system which indicates the work has been done."

ME: "Can you turn it back on until I can make other arrangements for Internet connectivity?"

THEM: "Yes, but we cannot do anything without a long-term contract. Let me give you our contract options."

ME: "Aaargh! Forget it."

So, I phone my network technician and he rushes out and we reconfigure everything to route through the cable connection. Forget having a back-up. It's not worth the hassle.

Morale of the story

This experience reminded me of dealing with a big bank! When companies get so large that the right hand doesn't know what the left hand is doing and it's people are not empowered to do the right thing or even know how to make things happen, it is a recipe for disaster. I'll bet I was talking to an outsourced customer service call centre.

No amount of national advertising with cute animals and catchy pop songs will erase this series of incidents from my mind!

Don't let your credit unions get so big that this starts happening to you!

Can anybody out there relate. I'm sure my story is just one of thousands everyday!

Tim
 
P.S. As a follow-up to this blog post, I just received an invoice for $15,151.24 for an early termination charge. Boy oh boy, the future just gets friendlier and friendlier! I certainly plan to fight this.